Here are a couple of Webster’s definitions of follow that fit well for Father’s Day – to be or act in accordance with; to seek to attain. These give a good word picture of what I have tried to do, which is follow my Dad. To act like him and seeking to attain to who he is each day.

When I was little I tried to follow Dad because he was the biggest, strongest, smartest man in the world. When I was a teen I tried to follow Dad secretly, I didn’t really want him to know I was following. After all I was a teen and I had it all figured out. All you had to do was ask. Inside I knew I didn’t have much figured out, but I didn’t want you to know. I secretly suspected that my Dad had it figured out, not in the biggest, strongest way in which I believed as a kid, but in the things that mattered most. I wanted to follow in his shadow. As I became a Dad, I wanted to follow Dad because I now realized how much I didn’t know. I was starting to swing back to believing he was the smartest man in the world all over again. As I became a pastor I wanted to follow Dad because he was the best pastor and man I had ever known. I was now absolutely convinced he was maybe not the smartest man in the world, but I was beginning to suspect he was the wisest. As I experienced more of life I came to understand that wisdom mattered a lot more than smarts and physical strength. Now that I am a grandfather and have several years of my own in the rearview mirror, I still want to follow my Dad. Why? Because he first of all follows Jesus better than anyone I have ever known. Also, because as I have seen him face many difficult circumstances in his life he has never lost his joy and is even wiser as a result.

Yes, I have moved past the “my Dad is bigger (I got taller than him my sophomore year of high school), stronger and smarter than your Dad” phase. I am into my Dad is the best man and follower of Jesus I know and I am seeking to live that way no matter what crosses my path.

I have been asked many times through the years, “How was your Dad as a pastor?”, or “What was it like being the pastor’s kid?” I think he was the greatest pastor I have ever known and I loved my family and childhood. To let you know these are not empty words, think on this fact. As an adult I chose to have him as my pastor two different times before I became a pastor myself.

A few times someone who knew my Dad as a pastor has told me I sounded like my Dad or reminded them of my Dad. I confess that is close to the greatest compliment you could give me.

So Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you and I am still seeking to follow you.

Dennis

Pastors too often wear it as a badge of honor when they don’t take a day off or when their day off gets interrupted by an emergency. I say “too often” because this is not a good thing. I know because I have been guilty of it more than I wish were true. In fact, my wife started calling my day off “the day I work less”. By the way, though that is a clever saying it is not a good thing.

One of the problems with a day off is that I love what I do. Many things that I do are hard to distinguish between what is work and not work. For example, I love sports and love to attend sporting events of our local schools. When I go to these I also look for students who are participating or watching and make connection with them or their parents. So am I working or not? I sometimes shop at a certain store because I want to make contact with someone who works there, so am I working or not? You get the idea.

A regret I have from my earlier ministry is the number of times my poor planning caused me to work when it was supposed to be my day off. I am not talking about emergencies, just times when I didn’t get to something I could have earlier but since I didn’t I had to do it on my day off.

I also realize that when you are a solo pastor it is more difficult to always honor your day off. I have been solo in the past and am again right now. I have learned that my people want me to take my day off if at all possible. If you have any pastoral staff then it should be really rare for you to “have to” work on your day off.

I have also come to understand that I really need to have some quality time with God on my day off. After all, don’t we expect that of our parishioners on Sunday? Sundays are not a day off, or even an easier day, for pastoral staff. That means we need to have some Sabbath time on another day.

One of the highlights of my day off is doing things with my wife. We do things together on many other days and now that our children are grown (and on their own) we have even more opportunities throughout the week. But my day off is different. We can plan something together or just plan to do nothing together. The big thing is that we are together. I sometimes do things with someone else, but that is the exception and not the rule. I want her to know that I want to be with her and it makes my day off a very special one when we get to spend most of it together.

Days off may be hard to define at times, but they are worth the chase. Just make sure that you figure out how to catch your day off

Dennis

“What in the world is he doing? Does he have a health issue or is the tag on his shirt sticking him?” One of the surprising things I discovered as I began preaching regularly was that I would have thoughts while I was preaching that had nothing to do with the sermon. Sometimes the thoughts were almost conversations with myself. It was as if I would be preaching and then a part of me would just be observing and thinking other stuff. No one warned me of this phenomenon. When it first began to happen I thought I was losing it. I realize that some might argue that I never had it, but that is for another post. I knew that people listening to sermons often drift off into their own thoughts but I didn’t realize the one preaching could.

Am I the only one? I realize that many pastors might be hesitant to confess this one, so I will take your silence as a yes. I have often wondered what the listeners would think if they realized that the pastor noticed so much more than they ever thought.

At times I have the thought “Did I just say something wrong? Did I get something turned around and not realize it?” That one comes when I see a look of confusion on the faces of people while I am preaching. Then I try to do a quick rewind in my mind, while still continuing with the sermon, to see if I can figure it out.

“Do I have a spot on my shirt, or are they in a trance?” That one comes when I notice someone staring toward me, unblinking, for a disturbing amount of time. I always secretly hope they are in a trance.

“Is that clock right?” Yes, pastors wonder that one too, parishioners are not the only ones wondering what is wrong with the clock. Though I am usually wondering if it is too fast, I sense those listening have a different thought.

“Where is _______________ ?” I am sure this one is not surprising to people, but it can occupy some time in my mind during a sermon. Of course sometimes it is answered when I find them sitting somewhere other than their usual spot. Did you know that many people sit in the same place at church every week?

“Did I already say that?” This one produces a momentary look of confusion on my face. I preach from an outline with some extra notes instead of a manuscript, so once in a while I wonder if I have already said something. This happened more often when the church I was pastoring had multiple worship services.

“Did I really say that?” This is the scarier version of the above thought. This one produces a momentary look of shock on my face. It happens when I get carried away while preaching. I call it getting on a roll, my wife calls it the time when she ducks. It is also why she usually sits in the back of the worship center. That way when I say something that prompts this thought people have to turn around to see her reaction. Unfortunately I have a tendency to prompt those turnaround moments more often than I like to admit.

Do you do this? What thoughts do you have while speaking/preaching? Here’s hoping you have only positive thoughts this Sunday.

Dennis

I love to read. I have loved to read for as long as I can remember (some teachers and professors might take issue with this statement). Much of the credit for my love of reading goes to my parents. An enduring memory from childhood is seeing my parents reading and seeing books all around the house. When I began as a pastor my Dad encouraged me even more to be a reader. I remember a conversation with him during my first or second year as a Senior Pastor. I was reading a lot and loving it, but some other pastors criticized me for reading so much, they felt I must be slighting other areas of ministry because of my reading volume. I shared this with my Dad asking him what he thought. (For the record I wasn’t whining to him, I knew that wouldn’t fly, I desired his opinion) He told me to keep reading and added that these other pastors probably never make any references to anything they have read in their sermons. He told me that reading would challenge me and stretch me, then he asked me what I was reading. Did I mention that my Dad was a great pastor for 44 years?

In my reading now, I not only read books but I also read a lot online and in my reading I love to collect quotes. Here are a few of my favorite quotes from my reading this week:

“There are two kinds of success. One is the very rare kind that comes to the many who has the power to do what no one else has the power to do. That is genius. But the average man who wins what we call success is not a genius. He is a man who has merely the ordinary qualities that he shares with his fellows, but who has developed those ordinary qualities to a more than ordinary degree.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters – one represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.” – John F. Kennedy

“… we make it sound like it’s someone else’s fault, when in reality, we’ve made our own lunch.” – Kyle Idleman (from his book “AHA”)

“We worry far too much about outcomes instead of focusing on inputs. We cannot make things grow. Period. All we can do is plant and water.” – Mark Batterson (from his book “Draw the Circle”)

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason (can anybody else’s bank account relate?)

“My fitness coach told me to bend down and touch my toes. I told him, “I don’t

have that kind of relationship with my feet. May I just wave?” – from Mikey’s Funnies

“If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?” – from Mikey’s Funnies

“In your relationships, seek to add value above seeking to win the argument.”

So what are some of your favorite quotes from your recent reading?

Dennis

Know Your Sources of Discouragement …

Discouragement is an all too familiar thing for most of us. Pastors are no exception. Discouragement does not appear to respect titles, positions, ages or claims. Discouragement is an equal opportunity intruder. Armed with the knowledge that we are not immune to discouragement then it makes sense to try and determine if you can figure out any patterns or the most common sources of your discouragement. So here are my top 5 …

Unrealistic expectations (see post from 2 days ago) – when we have unrealistic expectations we will likely fall short of them and be discouraged as a result. We need to set stretching goals and seek to grow ourselves and our organizations however when we set unrealistic expectations we tend to get discouraged when we fall short.

Others disappointment/disagreement with us – when others are disappointed in us we often embrace it and become discouraged. But you need to determine if this person is credible and if their disappointment is valid. Disagreements are common place and often productive for organizations and individuals. After all, if we all agree all the time you have to wonder if everyone is really thinking or of just blindly nodding in agreement. However, many of us tie our worth to how many other people agree with us. So when someone, or a group, disagrees with us we become discouraged. Do you feel me pastors?

Physical issues – not enough sleep, eating terribly, not enough exercise, illness and a myriad of other physical issues can move us to feeling discouraged. When we are discouraged, especially for a length of time, we need to check out any physical triggers.

Negative people – we all have them, those people are who the living embodiment of Winnie the Pooh’s friend Eeyore. (Yes, I just referenced Winnie the Pooh, I have grandkids. Would you prefer an Archie Bunker reference? Are you even old enough to know who that is?) You know the type, no matter what is happening they believe it is their duty to point out why it probably won’t work. Some people seem to think it is their spiritual gift to be negative. Negative people can wear on us and cause us to become discouraged.

Ourself – sometimes we are our greatest cause of discouragement. When our self-talk is negative we discourage ourselves. Sometimes the problem is we don’t believe in ourself so we become discouraged, especially if we struggle as we attempt something new. Sometimes our issue is we know we didn’t really give it our best effort and we become discouraged. This is a difficult one to work through and is deserving of its own post in the future.

That is my top 5. So what are you top 5. Which of these do you most often wrestle with? How do you deal with discouragement? Remember, you were created for a purpose and Jesus loves you enough that he died for you. That in itself should help us battle discouragement.

Dennis

Mondays are always a day of reflection and recuperation. I used to take Mondays as my day off, but I changed that practice several years ago and I am really glad I made the change. I didn’t make the change after some epiphany or after extensive research. I made the change because Mondays were the best day for staff meeting at the church I was serving at the time.

Shortly after making the change I realized that I had always taken a lot time on Mondays to reflect as well as recuperate. Now I was reflecting with others and not taking that time away from time with my wife.  I have now discovered that Mondays are a great time to replay the events from Sunday while they are still fresh and to follow up on any needs quickly. I also now enjoy my day off with my wife in a much more relaxed way.

Yesterday was a good day.

– I recognized at 9:00am that all of our Sunday School teachers were already in the building and making everything ready for their classes which don’t start until 9:30. How cool is that? What a great group of dedicated and committed teachers.

– Had an uplifting time of prayer with a retired pastor just before the worship service began. I am always humbled whenever someone prays over me and especially when it is someone who has served so faithfully for so many years.

– Had an in-town visitor return for the second week in a row.

– Had more than a dozen people come forward committing to make prayer a priority in their relationships. Not just praying for the relationship, but praying to add value to the relationship and for God to bless the other person. To really pray, not just wish a relationship was better but to pray for as long as it takes for the relationship to be better.

– Had a great time of sharing and heartfelt discussion in the small group that meets at our house on Sunday evenings.

– Had a great number of people commit to serving in our Vacation Bible School. I am really pumped about the number of adults who desire to make an impact in the lives of children.

– Had another Sunday of good attendance.

As I sit here reflecting on Sunday I am encouraged and burdened. I think that is a great place to be, how is your Monday morning?

Dennis

Expectations are wonderful and dangerous things. They are wonderful because they point us in a certain direction and can give us sharp focus. If you are not expecting anything you are likely going to be unenthusiastic about whatever you are doing. Without expectations others don’t know where you are going and will not follow. Without expectations it is hard to know if you accomplished your goal, after all isn’t a goal something you are expecting?

So what are you expecting? What are you expecting from this day?

The dangerous part of expectations is they set you up for disappointment. Disappointment by definition, at least my definition, is failed expectations. So if what I am expecting does not happen then I will be disappointed. Understanding the connection between expectations and disappointment is critical for establishing productive expectations. Knowing that a failed expectation leads to disappointment can lead some to the conclusion that they should not set any expectations. Their logic is that if they don’t set any expectations then they won’t have any fall short on any expectations and therefore they won’t have any disappointments. There are major problems with that logic. First, without expectations you will just wander with no clear goal or motivation. Second, you may end up following the wrong plan as you get swept along by someone else’s expectations. Third, you will miss the joy of seeing fulfilled expectations.

Don’t avoid expectations, instead set expectations that will motivate you without being too unrealistic. Be willing to adjust expectations without compromising your vision or goals. Don’t get so caught up in “realistic” expectations that you leave no room for the power of the Holy Spirit and the beyond yourself moves of God.

What are you expecting from this day?

Dennis

A Love/Hate Relationship. What? A pastor can’t have a love/hate relationship with someone. It is not a “someone” it is a “something”. The something that I have a love/hate relationship with is Saturdays. It is not the fault of Saturday, it is just that Saturday happens to fall one day before Sunday and for a pastor Sunday is kind of a big deal. Since Sunday is such a big deal and such a critical day of week for what I do, it makes Saturday a very strange day.

I love Saturday because when it appears it means that there are not many hours before I get to Sunday. Sunday means worshiping with some great people, it means I get the awesome opportunity to preach from God’s Word, it means seeing many people give of themselves in service and ministry (it is not the only day in which it is true just the one where more of us are in one place at the same time serving) and it means seeing the faces of of many people who encourage me.

I hate Saturday because it means there are not many hours before I stand in front of a group of people who expect me to speak God’s Word into their lives in a relevant, interesting and applicable manner. While that is one of the aspects of being a pastor that I love it is always overwhelming. Saturday just reminds me that is won’t be long before that awesome opportunity/responsibility arrives.

I love Saturdays because there usually is not a lot on my “you’ve got to be there” schedule. You know those events right? Those events where you really better show up if you know what’s good for you or your position. While I enjoy nearly all of these events, really I do, they can create stress when combined with being just a few hours away from Sunday morning. So Saturdays are great in that there usually aren’t many of these for me, and I can move along in the day more on my pace than someone else’s.

I hate Saturdays because it is too easy to waste the day because there is not a lot of “have to things” scheduled on this day.

I love Saturdays because there are usually some good sporting events to watch. My wife would tell you that if it is called a sporting event then I consider it good to watch. That is simply not true. I do not consider synchronized ribbon twirling as a must watch sport. Now if they would combine that with having to dodge some type of objects being thrown while twirling the ribbons then we have something. But I love that I can often relax on Saturdays watching an entertaining sport.

I hate Saturdays because when I am really ready to preach a message I have to wait another day. There are times that a sermon is burning in my heart so much, and feels so completely ready, that I hate to have to wait another day.

I love Saturdays for the times when I have been struggling with a message all week and I still have one more day in which to settle what God wants me to know and share through the message. On those days I am over the top in love with Saturday. There may, or may not, be many Saturdays that fall into this category.

There you have it, I have a love/hate relationship with Saturdays. Oh, did I mention that I am writing this on a Saturday.

Dennis

“Here we go …” I love that phrase. I love it because it implies adventure and change. I am one of those people who usually loves hearing “we’ve never done it that way before” and my response is “great, let’s do it then”. That makes for some exciting adventures and it also creates some memorable moments that fall short of success. My tendencies in this area also make life very interesting when you consider that I am a pastor and churches often are less than thrilled with doing things in a new way.

Since I have been a pastor for quite a while, 31+ years in fact. Wow, 31 years I must have started when I was just a wee lad, either that or I just don’t think or feel my age. Either way it means I have a lot of examples of the highs and lows of a pastor’s view. I also have a newsletter that will be available soon. So let’s see where this takes us.

There will be times that my posts will just be some personal stuff that I find interesting, other times they will be a little more serious. No matter what I will enjoy the writing. If you enjoy the reading, come on back and invite others to join us. Well I need to get back to enjoying my day off, yes pastors really do take a day off and no we don’t take off 6 days a week. I will be back soon so I guess it is true … Here we go!

Dennis