Author Archives: dennyowens

What do your hands say about you?

When I am approaching any store my first question is, “Are they open, or closed?” The answer to that question greatly determines my expectations. If they are closed, I don’t expect much of anything from them. If they are open, I expect to be welcomed and the possibility of an exchange of resources. This makes it easy when approaching a store, but what about people? Don’t you wish people wore a sign that indicated if they are open or closed?

I think I have discovered one of those signs. Watch their hands. Are their hands open, or closed? If they have open hands they are approachable, they will likely welcome you and there is a good chance of interaction with them. However, if their hands are closed, then it will be difficult to have positive interaction with them.

In defense of having closed hands, if your hands are closed around what you have then you appear unlikely to lose any of it. You could certainly be seen as defending what you have, after all a closed fist is a universal sign of anger. But the problem with closed hands is that it prevents you from receiving anything else. You cannot bless anyone else with closed hands. When was the last time you saw anyone give a hug with clenched fists? You may have seen someone with clenched fists get hugged by someone else. But notice that the hands of the “hugger” were open as they embraced the person. You can’t welcome anyone or anything with closed hands. You cannot provide, give or bless anyone else with closed hands.

Open, or closed? Take a look, what are you communicating with your hands?

I realize that the germ-a-phobics among us are cringing at the thought of the things that may get passed from one to another with open hands. However, I still get to determine what I will pass on to others, by how I prepare my hands and what I place in them. I am a chaplain one day a week at our local hospital. As a part of my orientation for this ministry I was given more information than I really wanted to know about things that can get spread from one to another. What I loved about the training was that the emphasis was on preparing yourself, and especially your hands, for that possibility. The focus was not stay away from everything and everyone, but rather prepare yourself for whatever you may encounter.

So take a few minutes to look at your hands. Are you approaching life with them open, or closed? Are you ready to receive and give, or are you closed and unapproachable? Next time you are trying to figure someone out, watch their hands.

Dennis

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Monday Morning Musings …

Yesterday was an up and down day for me. I was not feeling well as the worship service began and did not stand during any of our music because I was saving my strength for my time of preaching. I hate when I feel that way on a Sunday morning. I started feeling shaky and lousy about half way through teaching my small group during our Sunday School hour. While I was preaching I felt puny a few times and sat on a stool during those moments. Of course I didn’t stay on the stool, anyone who knows me is not surprised by that information. I survived. So let’s get on to the musings …

-We had a few annoying technical issues yesterday. Mainly with my mic.

-A couple who visited our church for the first time last Sunday came back. That is always encouraging.

-I am sure my perception is a little out of whack given how I was feeling, but it seemed that most people were engaged in the message. This was the second in a three part series on “Breaking Free from Financial Bondage”. The real proof of their engagement will come when we offer some follow-up help concerning getting out from under financial pressure. If people respond then they are more than interested, they are actually engaged.

-I am excited at the possibilities for those who will get serious about getting out from under financial stress they are currently under. Relationships can improve, marriages can be healed and people can be free to really receive all that God has for them.

-It was very cold yesterday. We have had some nasty wind chill numbers in the past few days.

-Our Sunday evening small group was a tiny group yesterday. Even with the very small number we had a great time of study and sharing. There are some exciting things taking place in the lives of some in our group.

-I love getting reports from the groups and ministries in which I am not directly involved or attending. Hearing, or reading, about what is taking place and who is attending is encouraging.

-We seem to have been overwhelmed with many people struggling with physical needs in the past several weeks. Some are the expected winter issues but we have had a larger than expected number of people facing life-changing physical issues. This has led to some great acts of care and compassion. It has also led to some increased focus on prayer.

-Yesterday was the last Sunday of our fiscal church year. In starting the process of putting year-end numbers together and reflecting on what has taken place I am humbled and encouraged by what I am seeing. This has been a very good year in many areas of ministry. People coming to Christ, people stepping out in service, attendance on the rise, a great spirit in most of our ministries, giving up slightly and a wonderful sense of excitement and expectation.

Here’s hoping you are able to encourage someone today.

Dennis

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5 Ways to Make Your Pastor’s Sermons Better …

I was joking with my congregation recently and told them that I preach better when they sing passionately during our worship service. I went on to tell them that the quality of my preaching that day was completely dependent on them. We laughed together. But it got me thinking about ways in which a congregation can really help their pastor’s preaching.

1) Pray for your pastor and his message – this means praying for him/her at times during the week as they study and prepare. Then praying for them on Sunday as they begin the message as well. When you invest in the message ahead of time through prayer you are more likely to view the message positively. It is always good to pray for your pastor, but praying for their sermon prep is vital.

2) Look interested and engaged during the message – While your pastor is speaking look up and be engaged in what is being said. Look at your bible or notes, but there is a lot of time to be looking up. Looking up lets your pastor know you are listening and it encourages him. When your pastor is encouraged he/she preaches better.

3) Inform your pastor that you pray for his/her preparation – we all appreciate knowing that people are praying for us. Be specific and let your pastor know you are praying for their study and preparation. Even ask if there is something in particular you can pray for as they prepare this week. Knowing that people are praying as I study gives me strength throughout the week.

4) Be a participant in the whole worship service – when you sing during the music, when you pray during prayer time and when you give during the offering you are fully invested in the worship service. When you are invested and engaged in the whole service you are prepared to hear, receive and respond to your pastor’s sermon.

5) Speak positively about your pastor, and his/her preaching, during the week – this will give you a positive outlook as you enter on Sunday and it will help others to approach the message positively. Even if your pastor is not a great orator, speak positively about them and you may be surprised at how much better the sermons become.

It is always easier to preach to a group that is supportive, expectant, positive, prayerful and engaged. Try some of these things and see what happens. You may discover that your pastor is preaching better. At the very least you will know that you have done your best to support and encourage your pastor.

Here’s hoping that the message you receive this week is outstanding.

Dennis

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What’s Behind the Message?

As I have been studying, reading, praying and attempting to prepare my sermon for this Sunday I can’t stop crying. This morning as I was weeping over what I want so desperately to communicate with the congregation God has trusted me with, I am struggling because I know I am so inadequate.

This is not a self-pity, or woe is me, moment. This is simply a time of being overwhelmed by the burden of communicating the message of God’s word to the people who will attend this Sunday. I am crying because I need this message. I am crying because I know my limitations in communicating. I am crying because I so passionately want people to know this truth. I am crying because I have names and faces passing through my mind as I study. I am crying because I can be a bit of a crier. I am crying because Jesus has done so much for us and has so much more for us if we will embrace him and his will for us. I am crying.

Simple fact, it is difficult to type when your eyes are full of tears.

I am not seeking any “atta boy” compliments, I am just sharing the burden.

Sometimes I have wished that people could have some peek into the emotional investment that their pastor has in each message. Or at least the investment we should have in each message. The burden to communicate God’s word to a group of people in a way that connects, convicts and encourages them to respond in living obedience to the word. That is an enormous burden. I am not preparing a speech. I am preparing to open and share God’s word.

I have stated many times that I still get nervous (and I have been doing this for 30 years) every time before I share God’s word. Why? For all of the reasons I shared in the above paragraph. So if I ever walk up to share the word of God and am not nervous, then that needs to be my last message.

What’s behind the message? There is time spent reading, studying, praying, planning, listening, practicing and often times weeping.

I just thought you should know and I pray that you will listen to your pastor’s sermon with this understanding this Sunday.

Dennis

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Monday Morning Musings …

We enjoyed a great time of God’s presence in our worship service yesterday. I love it when we are ready to receive what God wants to show us. Our time of music and prayer was powerful. It had been a very hectic week for me and I was feeling very scattered early Sunday morning, so the time in our worship service was even more meaningful to me. I guess I have already started musing …

-It was a great time of worship. Our technical glitches were very minimal and the service flowed well.

-We had a lot of children present yesterday. That always adds a lot energy to the building. I am very encouraged by the growth we are experiencing in our children’s ministries.

-Yesterday had such a great spirit that we even had people saying amen, and praise the Lord out loud! That is not the norm for our congregation, though I wish it happened a lot more often.

-I started a new series entitled “Breaking Free from Financial Bondage”. For 3 weeks we are looking at what the Bible says about handling our money. No, it is not a series on giving to the church. It is a series on getting control of what God has provided instead of wondering what happened to your money and being enslaved to your debt.

-Had a great conversation with someone who just recently started tackling their debt and is seeing great progress and is creating a tool that can help others figure out bills, debt and a budget. What great timing. God really knows what he is doing.

-Early last week I was working on a completely different message, but I just kept feeling blocked as I studied. On Wednesday I began looking at this topic and it just flowed as I studied.

-We had a very lively, fun and meaningful discussion as we continued to study grace and truth in our small group last evening. The group was small in number but it was a great time of discussing. I really enjoyed the debate and discussion. I love the openness to ask questions that is in this group.

-We had some new people attend yesterday and they are in our community looking for a church home. That is always encouraging, and especially so if they come back.

-We are 3 weeks from a special series of Revival/Renewal services. We have several special times of praying for revival planned. I am anxious to see how our church responds to the opportunities to pray and to participate in the special services.

-Our attendance was up yesterday which added to the feeling of anticipation in the building. Most encouraging was seeing that attendance and realizing that we had a lot of fairly consistent attenders absent.

-I am supposed to go through a volunteer orientation at our local hospital this week so I can begin serving 1 day a week as a chaplain. I am looking forward to beginning that ministry.

Here’s hoping you see some encouraging things this week.

Dennis

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The Balance of Love …

Today is Valentine’s Day. The day set aside to sell cards, candy and flowers. This is a day where society, or at least the retail side of society, attempts to force your hand to show your love through stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that most of us need a nudge or shove to express our love to those who mean the most to us. That’s not how it should be, but unfortunately for too many among us it is the sad truth.

My issues are not the setting aside of a day to express love. I struggle with the idea that you can substitute things for love. To be clear, I have purchased many a card, some flowers and other stuff in an attempt to express my love. But a balance is needed.

We need to express love for those who mean the most to us regularly. If we would focus on communicating our love more regularly we would be able to avoid the trap of thinking that stuff is sufficient to express our love. After all, few of us could afford to express our love with the cards, candy or flowers every day. We must learn more meaningful ways in which to express our love.

Here are some other ways to express love:

*Time – spend time together. How the time is spent is much less important than spending the time together. But the greatest impact would be if you chose to spend time doing some things that the other person enjoys.

*Hand written notes – you don’t have to be a wordsmith to do this one. Just jot a few words down and leave it someplace where they will see it. It can be as simple as “I love you”, “Just a reminder I am here for you”, “You mean the world to me”, “I thank God he created you and brought you into my life”. You get the picture. Cards that you purchase are good, but a handwritten, or typed one for those of us whose hand writing is illegible, is even better.

*Go for a walk, or a bike ride – I prefer the walking because you can hold hands and talk. I have found that the hand holding is tricky when riding bikes.

*Do a chore together – wash the dishes, or empty the dishwasher, or plant some flowers or paint something, etc… This can also be dangerous if you have strong opposite opinions on how to do these chores, but you ought to be able to stifle that long enough to spend some quality time together.

*Talk – this might be the most intimidating one. To just sit down and talk with each other. Share some pleasant or funny memories, such as … “What is our most memorable Christmas together?”, “What do you remember about our first date?”, “If we could take your dream vacation where would we go and what would we do?” Actually talking with your spouse, child, parent or friend requires more than one word answers.

These are just a few ideas. I am sure that you already have some great ideas. Let’s move from having the ideas to doing the ideas. Let’s balance our love so it is expressed all year not just on birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or Christmas. You will be amazed at how fun it is surprise them with unexpected expressions of love and you will be moved by how much it means to them as well.

Shout out: to my wife. Happy Valentine’s Day honey. I love you. As we move closer to our 40th Wedding Anniversary, I love you more now than on our wedding day. You are my friend and lover. You are my greatest supporter. You mean so much more to me than I can possibly express in a few words. We have been blessed with 3 wonderful kids and God answered our prayers as they all chose wonderful spouses for themselves, then they have doubly blessed us with 9 grandkids who bring us so much joy. Happy Valentine’s Day! I love you!

Dennis

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Facing the Fear #3 …

Which is harder for you, facing the fears you know or facing fears you are anticipating? Do you fear the known or the unknown more? I was asking this question as I sat here seeing and hearing all kinds of predictions of a major ice and snow storm approaching a couple of weeks ago. We were getting warnings concerning the storm for a few days.

The grocery stores were mad houses all day before a single snow flake had been spotted and this madness was not limited to my area. I read reports of this same madness across several states. Some of the mad rush could be people stocking up for their “Big Game” parties. But the level of madness and the urgency of the people in the stores appears to have been driven by more than the game.

Evidently people were afraid of getting stranded by the storm and wanted to make sure they had enough chips and salsa on hand.

So which is it for you? The fear you have battled before, or the one that you believe is coming but haven’t yet faced that is more upsetting?

I believe for me it is a tie. The one I haven’t faced before is upsetting because I am not sure how it is going to impact and what strategy may work against it. But the one I am familiar with can be devastating because I know the impact it has had on me before and I don’t want to face it again. Especially if I didn’t work through it the last time.

The big issue is to find a way to face the fear whether it is familiar or not. The first need is to acknowledge you have the fear. As I wrote in my first post on facing the fear, ignoring that I have a fear does not help me to overcome or get past a fear. This year I made sure to include addressing a couple of my longstanding fears as I wrote down some of my goals for this year and in my last post on facing the fear I wrote that now I have to take some steps.

One of the steps I am taking in overcoming a fear is to share the fear and the steps with someone who will keep checking on me to see if I have taken any of the steps. It is critical that I share the fear and the steps to overcome the fear with the right person. It needs to be someone who has access to me. It needs to be someone who cares about me. It needs to be someone who will confront me and not just tell me it is okay if I keep putting off taking the steps to overcome. It needs to be someone that I care about as well, otherwise I may not care about what they say to me.

I have started this process. What is working for you in facing your fears?

Dennis

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5 Steps to Overcoming Discouragement …

I posted about the “Top 5 Sources of Discouragement” and I discovered many of you resonated with the same sources that I deal with myself. So here are some ways in which I work on overcoming discouragement (these are not in an order of importance) …

1. Have a person, or small group with which to share and pray. Currently I meet every other week with 5 other men who are in ministry. We share, pray, guide and encourage one another. We pray for each other throughout the week and we laugh together a lot. This group is vital for my spiritual, emotional and mental health.

2. Do something for someone else. When I begin to feel sorry for myself one of the surest ways to begin climbing out of that pit is to serve someone else. The serving takes the focus off of me and I focus on someone else. Often as I do something for someone else I am reminded of how blessed I am. Discouragement can lead to self-pity which causes me to focus only me and when I focus only on me I magnify my discouragement.

3. Have some other interests. Having something else to do that engages my mind helps shift my focus for a while. When I come back from whatever it is I feel refreshed and that helps with the discouragement. For me it could be going fishing, reading just for fun, going golfing or exercising. I can head off discouragement by scheduling some time for these other interests before I am discouraged.

4. Prayer. Remember, I said these were not in order of importance. What I am speaking of here is to pray specifically against the discouragement. Also, when I pray for others I once again take the focus off of me and onto others. Part of my praying must include a time of praise which also moves me from “navel gazing” into my own issues and gets my eyes up where they should be.

5. Evaluating the reason(s) I am discouraged. When I am discouraged I need to take some time and evaluate how I got to this point and see if there is something I need to change in me. Just like when I am criticized I need to find the truth in the criticism and make changes. I have to be careful and fall into the trap of just blaming someone, or something, else for my discouragement. It is rarely that simple.

What have you found helpful in working through discouragement? Leave a comment, I know this is not an exhaustive list.

Here’s hoping you are not stuck in discouragement and that if you are discouraged I pray that these steps will help you navigate your way through it.

Dennis

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Monday Morning Musings …

The Sunday after a very low attended Sunday, this was because of weather, can have a little different feeling sometimes, but yesterday was a very good day. So here are a few of my musings this morning …

-God showed up in a powerful way during our worship service yesterday. Love it when that happens. This was one of those times that everyone saw and felt it.

-We had a spontaneous time of testimonies during the service and it was powerful. If memory serves me correctly there were 9 different people who shared during that time of our worship. The best was a wonderful man who last week had to place his wife of 64 years into assisted living. He shared that she told him she is ready to meet the Lord whenever he is ready to take her. Wow! This is a couple who have served this church generously for decades. He had tears streaming down his face all during the service and after he spoke everyone else did as well.

-Our time of singing really set the tone for the whole service. The way the songs flowed together, the power of the words, the sweet spirit of those leading and the great passion of the people’s singing made for great worship.

-We shared communion together at the close of our worship and this was one of those times where you could sense that people were really thinking of what Christ did for them and were humbly rejoicing as they remembered.

-I felt a little rushed as I preached yesterday. With the testimonies and knowing we were closing with communion my time was shorter, and that is okay. The other things that happened spoke much better than I could and I planned for a shorter message, but I still felt rushed. It was my own feeling, not something from anyone else, but I hate when I do that to myself. Because then I know I don’t communicate as well.

-Our attendance was back up to just above our average. I was reviewing some things this morning and realized that ¼ of those in attendance were not attending here when I arrived a year ago. Most of that is a positive about our growth, but I have to also acknowledge that we are missing some who have left during that same time.

-I loved having a new family come up to me and ask a question about the passage of scripture I used in my message. They are following the reading plan I gave to read through the Bible in a year. The passage they just read the day before was the same event I shared Sunday but from a different passage. They had a question at home as they read it and then again when I preached and came directly to me for clarification. I love that they are reading the Word and reading it for understanding. That made this pastor’s heart soar.

-We had a very good time of study, discussion and fellowship in our small group last night. We had some people attend who had not been to the group previously. We also had a brand new group begin yesterday and I got a text from the leader of that group last night and it sounds like it was a good beginning. We have been praying and planning on really expanding and increasing the number of groups we have and the number of people involved in this important ministry.

-We have had so many people with illnesses, injuries and difficult diagnosis in the past few months that at times it has felt overwhelming. I love how our people have reached out to so many of them to help and how they are praying for all of them. It is a joy to pastor a group that is willing to act on the concern they express.

-We are 4 weeks from a series of special meetings with an outside minister coming to speak. We call these meetings a revival. My prayer is that there will be some real reviving take place in those who are already here and that it will spill over to some that do not yet attend.

Here’s hoping you have a week of seeing and sensing God’s power and presence.

Dennis

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Top 5 Sources of Discouragement … (a repost)

I posted this 8 months ago, but I needed to be reminded of its truth. I am guessing I am not the only one who could use a reminder of what to watch for so that we don’t get stuck in discouragement.

Know Your Sources of Discouragement …

Discouragement is an all too familiar thing for most of us. Pastors are no exception. Discouragement does not appear to respect titles, positions, ages or claims. Discouragement is an equal opportunity intruder. Armed with the knowledge that we are not immune to discouragement then it makes sense to try and determine if you can figure out any patterns or the most common sources of your discouragement. So here are my top 5 …

Unrealistic expectations (see post from 2 days ago) – when we have unrealistic expectations we will likely fall short of them and be discouraged as a result. We need to set stretching goals and seek to grow ourselves and our organizations however when we set unrealistic expectations we tend to get discouraged when we fall short.

Others disappointment/disagreement with us – when others are disappointed in us we often embrace it and become discouraged. But you need to determine if this person is credible and if their disappointment is valid. Disagreements are common place and often productive for organizations and individuals. After all, if we all agree all the time you have to wonder if everyone is really thinking or of just blindly nodding in agreement. However, many of us tie our worth to how many other people agree with us. So when someone, or a group, disagrees with us we become discouraged. Do you feel me pastors?

Physical issues – not enough sleep, eating terribly, not enough exercise, illness and a myriad of other physical issues can move us to feeling discouraged. When we are discouraged, especially for a length of time, we need to check out any physical triggers.

Negative people – we all have them, those people are who the living embodiment of Winnie the Pooh’s friend Eeyore. (Yes, I just referenced Winnie the Pooh, I have grandkids. Would you prefer an Archie Bunker reference? Are you even old enough to know who that is?) You know the type, no matter what is happening they believe it is their duty to point out why it probably won’t work. Some people seem to think it is their spiritual gift to be negative. Negative people can wear on us and cause us to become discouraged.

Ourself – sometimes we are our greatest cause of discouragement. When our self-talk is negative we discourage ourselves. Sometimes the problem is we don’t believe in ourself so we become discouraged, especially if we struggle as we attempt something new. Sometimes our issue is we know we didn’t really give it our best effort and we become discouraged. This is a difficult one to work through and is deserving of its own post in the future.

That is my top 5. So what are you top 5. Which of these do you most often wrestle with? How do you deal with discouragement? Remember, you were created for a purpose. That in itself should help us battle discouragement.

Dennis

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