As I have been studying, reading, praying and attempting to prepare my sermon for this Sunday I can’t stop crying. This morning as I was weeping over what I want so desperately to communicate with the congregation God has trusted me with, I am struggling because I know I am so inadequate.
This is not a self-pity, or woe is me, moment. This is simply a time of being overwhelmed by the burden of communicating the message of God’s word to the people who will attend this Sunday. I am crying because I need this message. I am crying because I know my limitations in communicating. I am crying because I so passionately want people to know this truth. I am crying because I have names and faces passing through my mind as I study. I am crying because I can be a bit of a crier. I am crying because Jesus has done so much for us and has so much more for us if we will embrace him and his will for us. I am crying.
Simple fact, it is difficult to type when your eyes are full of tears.
I am not seeking any “atta boy” compliments, I am just sharing the burden.
Sometimes I have wished that people could have some peek into the emotional investment that their pastor has in each message. Or at least the investment we should have in each message. The burden to communicate God’s word to a group of people in a way that connects, convicts and encourages them to respond in living obedience to the word. That is an enormous burden. I am not preparing a speech. I am preparing to open and share God’s word.
I have stated many times that I still get nervous (and I have been doing this for 30 years) every time before I share God’s word. Why? For all of the reasons I shared in the above paragraph. So if I ever walk up to share the word of God and am not nervous, then that needs to be my last message.
What’s behind the message? There is time spent reading, studying, praying, planning, listening, practicing and often times weeping.
I just thought you should know and I pray that you will listen to your pastor’s sermon with this understanding this Sunday.