I posted this 8 months ago, but I needed to be reminded of its truth. I am guessing I am not the only one who could use a reminder of what to watch for so that we don’t get stuck in discouragement.

Know Your Sources of Discouragement …

Discouragement is an all too familiar thing for most of us. Pastors are no exception. Discouragement does not appear to respect titles, positions, ages or claims. Discouragement is an equal opportunity intruder. Armed with the knowledge that we are not immune to discouragement then it makes sense to try and determine if you can figure out any patterns or the most common sources of your discouragement. So here are my top 5 …

Unrealistic expectations (see post from 2 days ago) – when we have unrealistic expectations we will likely fall short of them and be discouraged as a result. We need to set stretching goals and seek to grow ourselves and our organizations however when we set unrealistic expectations we tend to get discouraged when we fall short.

Others disappointment/disagreement with us – when others are disappointed in us we often embrace it and become discouraged. But you need to determine if this person is credible and if their disappointment is valid. Disagreements are common place and often productive for organizations and individuals. After all, if we all agree all the time you have to wonder if everyone is really thinking or of just blindly nodding in agreement. However, many of us tie our worth to how many other people agree with us. So when someone, or a group, disagrees with us we become discouraged. Do you feel me pastors?

Physical issues – not enough sleep, eating terribly, not enough exercise, illness and a myriad of other physical issues can move us to feeling discouraged. When we are discouraged, especially for a length of time, we need to check out any physical triggers.

Negative people – we all have them, those people are who the living embodiment of Winnie the Pooh’s friend Eeyore. (Yes, I just referenced Winnie the Pooh, I have grandkids. Would you prefer an Archie Bunker reference? Are you even old enough to know who that is?) You know the type, no matter what is happening they believe it is their duty to point out why it probably won’t work. Some people seem to think it is their spiritual gift to be negative. Negative people can wear on us and cause us to become discouraged.

Ourself – sometimes we are our greatest cause of discouragement. When our self-talk is negative we discourage ourselves. Sometimes the problem is we don’t believe in ourself so we become discouraged, especially if we struggle as we attempt something new. Sometimes our issue is we know we didn’t really give it our best effort and we become discouraged. This is a difficult one to work through and is deserving of its own post in the future.

That is my top 5. So what are you top 5. Which of these do you most often wrestle with? How do you deal with discouragement? Remember, you were created for a purpose. That in itself should help us battle discouragement.

Dennis

Which one best describes you? In his most recent podcast Michael Hyatt (at michaelhyatt.com and click on podcasts) titled “The 5 Benefits of Collaboration” he made the statement “Being a dictator is very efficient, it just isn’t not very effective.” I wrote it down when and have been rolling it around in my mind (lot’s empty space in there) and wrestling with how I lead in my church. Not how I claim to lead, or how I want to lead, but how I really lead.

Michael Hyatt’s statement is so true in the long haul. The temptation to lead as a dictator is because it works in the short term. For a while it can work both efficiently and effectively. But only for a while. Being a dictator is often quicker, no one to check with and no discussions on what to do next. You choose and then move. There are many problems with this method of leadership in any setting, but especially in the church. One problem is that, contrary to what your ego may tell you, you don’t know everything. Even if you are the smartest person in the room you still don’t know everything. Another problem with dictatorship is that no one else is engaged or invested in whatever you are leading. If you simply dictate, people will wait for your decree and then do what you have declared. That is not a recipe for a vibrant group. Another problem is that you will be missing great ideas if you don’t engage others and listen to their thinking. In the church, the biggest problem is that we are already under authority as a follower of Christ. We are to seek his word, his will, his ways and not our own.

Delegators answer a few of the problems of a dictator. They involve other people, but too often we only involve them as we hand things off. As a delegator we at least realize we can’t do everything, but unless you are inviting others to share in the decisions you can simply become a less obnoxious dictator. Delegation is vital in vibrant organizations, but we must be careful that we are not just “dumping” things on them as John Maxwell would say.

Pollsters, this is my polite term for politicians. It appears that at this time our political leaders have become nothing more than pollsters. They seem to make all their decisions based on what will satisfy their constituents, rather than on what is best or right. As leaders in a church we must be very careful of becoming this type of leader. We are to be following Christ and not the whims of people. We must be aware of what people are thinking and it is wise to know what people like. However, the likes and whims of people cannot be the determining factor of our leadership decisions.

Coaching is an increasingly popular image for leadership. Having coached various sports for more than 20 seasons I like the coaching image. Coaches have to make solo decisions at times. Some coaches have assistant coaches and listen to their expertise in leading their organization. Great coaches have relationships with the team and invite their thoughts when decisions are to be made. Coaching seems a much better image for leadership in a church than the other three for sure. It is not completely adequate because we are followers of Christ first and foremost. But the methods of good coaching and good pastoring appear to have a lot in common.

Which of these four pictures of leadership best describes your leadership in this past year? Not which one do you prefer, but which one would those you are leading choose to describe your leadership? What do you think of these pictures?

Here’s hoping you are following Christ closely enough to lead as he leads.

Dennis