Category Archives: Change

If I Could, I Would … 4 Steps to Get Started

If I Could, I Would … 4 Ways to Get Started

“If ifs and buts were candies and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas.” Have you ever heard this phrase? I had a relative that tried to use this phrase often, but they sometimes got the words out of order which made the phrase lose it’s real meaning. The point of the phrase, as I understand it, is to remind us that things are rarely perfect and we should therefore just do what we need to do. That is a great thought but not always easy to do.

When we seek to attempt something new, or something we know we should do, there are often mental obstacles that interfere. Then we don’t even get started. Some of these mental objections might be …

Everyone would think I’m crazy.

I don’t have the funds.

I am afraid.

What if it didn’t work?

I am too old, or too young, or don’t have any experience, or …

Do any of these look familiar? What is your “go to” excuse whenever you hesitate to do what you know you should do or when you think of attempting something new?

4 ways to get started:

  1. Quit worrying about the timing and take the first step – Often we hesitate by worrying about the perfect time to try something. We convince ourselves that a better time will come soon. This is a favorite of many people. They then let themselves off the hook of getting started because it is just not the right time. Let me ask you, how long have you been using that one?
  2. Be intentional in getting started – Make a decision and get started. Do it intentionally. Give yourself a deadline and go for it. (I am preaching this to myself at this moment.) If you want to get very serious about this tell it to someone else and ask them to hold you to the deadline.
  3. Don’t go alone – You have all kinds of resources at your disposal. Resources of people, of experiences and with the internet you can search for help in an instant. You don’t have to invent everything. I struggle with this one often. I love creating. But this interferes with getting something done at times when there are helpful resources all around me.
  4. Just do the next right thing – Don’t get hung up on everything that might be needed. Just do the next right thing. Take the next step and the one that is to follow will likely become obvious. You can’t get to the end of a project until you take the next step. So take the next step.

Just get started and see what happens. I can’t guarantee that you will be successful. I can however guarantee that you will be unsuccessful if you don’t get started.

So what will do today to get started? What is your next right step? Take it and watch what happens.

I would love to hear what you are working one and what is happening. I would love to encourage you and pray for you.

Dennis

Leave a comment

Dealing with CBTD …

The goal is not so much to overcome CBTD, as it is to make sure you are not overwhelmed by it. While sorting out and defining how I felt and what is going on with me I realized that I do not want to completely do away with CBTD syndrome. There are aspects of it that are positive, but there are many parts of it that are not productive. So I am seeking to make sure I am not overwhelmed by my CBTD and that I put to use the productive parts of it.

Confusion is rarely a good thing. The only time I can fathom confusion to be positive is when it would cause me to slow down long enough to figure out the right thing to do. Too often confusion leads to poor decisions.

Burdens are not bad in and of themselves, but they can be bad if we get buried by the burdens. We must be careful not to lose sight of the needs that create the burdens. The needs are real and we must keep praying about and seeking to meet the needs.

Tiredness can result from physical exertion, lack of good rest, stress or burdens. Being tired impacts nearly everything you do. When you are tired it is your body telling you that something is not how it was created to be and something needs to change.

Depression, whether a mild feeling down or of the more serious variety always need to be addressed.
So what do we do to keep from being overwhelmed by CBTD and overcoming some of it?

Start by praying and ask for wisdom to see yourself accurately. I don’t always see myself as I really am, anyone else have that issue? Pray for clarity, pray for wisdom, pray for strength, pray for courage to do whatever needs to be done and but don’t stop praying for the needs of others.

Evaluate your recent activities. Look at your calendar. What have you been doing recently? How busy have you been? Look at your physical issues. Have you been getting enough good rest? Have you been eating lousy? Do you have a physical illness that needs to be addressed?

Talk with someone you trust. A friend, someone from your small group, a counselor, your pastor, your spouse or a sibling or parent are often ones who can help you. Tell them how you are feeling. Tell them what is going on in your life and in your emotions. But, make sure you talk.

Pray some more.

Spend some time doing something out of your normal routine. Something that is interesting or enjoyable to you. A change of routine can do wonders.

Make sure you are heading in the right direction in your life and relationships. If you are not, then make a course correction.

Recognize that not all of CBTD is bad. Burdens are a natural part of caring for others and are often a motivating factor to pray. Tiredness and confusion can be helpful in small doses if it causes us to slow down and examine our life and direction. Just don’t stay in a confused or tired condition for long. Depression always needs to be addressed and if it lingers then get real help.

You are not strange if you are dealing with CBTD. It generally shows that you are out and about and that you are caring about what happens with other people. Let’s lift each other in prayer. Let’s encourage each other. Let’s serve together. Let’s lift each other up when we stumble. Let’s not give up.

Dennis

Leave a comment

Top 5 Causes of CBTD Syndrome …

Yesterday I posted about CBTD Syndrome. (Confused, Burdened, Tired or Depressed) I am suffering from it currently and I know I am not alone. From my experience here are the top 5 causes of this syndrome …

1. Prayer – when you pray for real people with real needs you become aware of more people in need. Also, as you pray you become burdened to see these people overcome whatever you are praying about. You become more passionate about praying. As you become consistent in prayer you become more passionate in your praying. As you become more passionate as you pray not only do you become more aware of needs, but people begin to seek you out asking for prayer. This is a wonderful and burdensome fact. If you do not learn to cast your cares onto Christ you will become overwhelmed and beaten down by the burdens. Prayer is great, and more prayer is awesome, but there is a price to be paid. I am learning that the price is well worth it and that I do not need to carry it all by myself.

2. Service – serving can lead to fatigue and sometimes to depression if you get your eyes off of the reason for your service. We are to serve others and do it as Christ did. That means having the “heart of a servant” as my friend Dave Engbrecht use to remind me over and over as we served together. My mentor and friend Dave, would say that phrase “heart of a servant” whenever we were doing things that someone else was supposed to have done. Evidently my attitude struggled during those times, hard to believe isn’t it? He would give a goofy smile and say that phrase. I didn’t like it when he did that,(I didn’t mind the goofy smile, it was the phrase that annoyed me) but I needed it and he was right. Service can wear you down and discourage you, unless you really are serving with the heart of a servant. The best way to evaluate if you have a servant’s heart is how you react when someone treats you like a servant. I am called to serve, so are you. We need to serve, but it can lead to CBTD if we are not careful.

3. Thinking like a Martyr – when you begin to think that you are the only one who cares, or the only one who is serving or the only one who is sacrificing you are sprinting toward CBTD. This is the opposite of the heart of a servant. Thinking like a martyr is not the same as being a martyr. Thinking like this often leads to losing sight of the big picture. It is feeling alone and confused about why you are doing what you are doing. This type of thinking also shows a confused mind, you begin to think it is about you instead of the one you are serving. This type of thinking will definitely lead to feelings of depression or anger.

4. Doing it alone – no matter what “it” is, if you are trying to do it all by yourself you are setting yourself up for CBTD. I know this one very well. I often try to do it alone. Sometimes my reasoning is that I don’t want to bother others. Sometimes it is because I am the pastor and pastors are supposed to be able to do everything, right? Sometimes it is because I like being able to say I did it all by myself. No matter the reason, doing it all alone rarely works and it will lead to feelings of fatigue, depression and confusion.

5. Not enough variety – maybe this one is only for me, but I believe it applies to many of you as well. If I get stuck in a tight routine for too long my CBTD really kicks into high gear. Some of this is just my personality, I am a “let’s try something different” kind of person. But also, if I don’t have some variety and if I dwell too long on a singular issue I become discouraged and confused. I need some variety. This variety can be as simple as getting up and walking around the church building or property. It might be taking a day and doing something completely different. When you emotionally stare at one thing for too long you begin to lose perspective. A loss of perspective will certainly push you toward CBTD.

What are some causes that you have seen or experienced?

Tomorrow I will address some ways to improve, or overcome, CBTD.

Here’s hoping that you see something different today. Here’s hoping that you realize you are not alone and that not only does what you are doing matter but it is making a difference.

Dennis

1 Comment

Facing the Fears …

How do you answer the question, “What are you afraid of?” Most of can quickly list a few acceptable things, such as … spiders, heights, snakes, public speaking, death, mice, little people (you know who you are), dogs, the dark, noises in the dark, spiders, snakes and mice making noises in the dark… you get the idea. But what about some of those fears that we don’t talk about over the dinner table? Some of those fears that we have trouble even admitting to ourselves? What about those fears?

I have been thinking of, and processing, the idea of fears often recently. Part of the reason is some of the things I have been studying and a larger part of it is attempting to face some of my own fears.

If you were completely vulnerable with me, what would you confess are your greatest fears right now? What are some of the fears that you are well aware of but just avoid? What are some of the fears that you are not sure what others would still like you if you told them? Maybe it is a fear of what others think of you.

How do you face your fears? I must confess that the fears I have been wrestling with recently are ones that I have avoided facing for a while. Part of my goal-setting for this year had to do with facing some of these fears. One way of facing fears is to ignore them. How is that working for you? It has not been working well for me at all. Another method of dealing with fears is to declare that you have already overcome them. The old “fake it till you make it” method. That works until you are actually face to face with the fear. Or you could just give up and let the fear win. That is tempting at times.

I have tried all of the above methods and I am not satisfied with the results. How about you? Have any of the above methods of dealing with your fears worked for you?
What other methods have you tried?

I am planning to share some more about my fears and what I am attempting to do about them in some upcoming posts. That is, if I don’t chicken out.

Until next time, here’s hoping you are finding some great ways to face your fears and to encourage someone else as they deal with their fears as well.

Dennis

Leave a comment

What Do You Really, Really Want? …

This is the title of my message this morning. A year-long study by the Museum of Science and Industry in Manchester, UK revealed a list of the top 10 most recognizable/persistent songs and the Spice Girls “Wannabe” topped the list. “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So I’ll tell you what you really, really want. I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want, so tell me what you want, what you really, really want …” I know, you couldn’t help but start singing as you read those lyrics. It’s okay, you can confess it.

What the Spice Girls wanted is different that the focus of my sermon. Jesus wanted to know what people really wanted. He didn’t assume, he asked. Whether it was of the invalid in John 5, or the blind man in Mark 10, he wanted to know what they wanted and if they really wanted to get well.

As I processed Jesus’ question to the invalid in John 5:6, “Do you want to get well?” I kept having those pesky lyrics ringing in my head “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want”. But do I tell what I really, really want or do I just say what seems most obvious or accepted among my tribe?

When I answer the question of what I really want do I then just sit back and wait, or do I get up? Do I sit and wonder why things happen for other people and nothing seems to happen for me as I sit here and wait? While it is true that sometimes we don’t see the change we claim to desire because we are not patient enough, it is also true that we often miss out because we are waiting for it to be served to us when it is already within in reach if we will just get up. (Pretty sure my high school English teacher would have put a red mark here for a run on sentence.)

Jesus told the invalid, after he indicated that he wanted to get well, to “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk. At once the man was cured”.

So here is the question following the question this morning. What do you want so much that you will change, or are willing to be changed, in order for it to come true?

What do you really, really want? How will you answer and what will you do?

Warning: I apologize for putting the tune of “Wannabe” in your consciousness today. If you are caught humming or singing it today, you have my permission to blame me. Or, you could take the opportunity to ask that person what they really, really want?

Dennis

Leave a comment

Liar, Liar Not so Much …

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post entitled “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire”. I wrote about excuses and especially about our/my “go to” excuses. Those excuses we go to as a default whenever we have something we know we should have done that we did not do. Like exercise, the “honey do” list, write some thank you notes, eat better, witness, read our Bible, and other stuff.

I worked on this in a few areas but kept putting off the “get in better shape” area. Hey it was easy to put off because I have had so much practice. I can say that I have started to do something about this area of my life. I still have to use “Liar, Liar” as part of my statement about getting in better shape because I just started this 5 days ago. Also, I missed 1 day in those 5. For me doing something to better my health and get in better physical condition 4 out of 5 days is miles ahead of where I have been for a long while.

I promised that I would give updates on how I am doing in this area, so consider this an update. I have started. That is the most important step. I don’t feel any better yet, only feel better in saying that I have started.

As for spiritual areas, I am doing better in them than in the physical areas. I challenged myself at the beginning of July to read straight through the Bible in the last 6 months of the year. I have read something every day for 3 months and I am well ahead of schedule to finish by the end of the year. My prayer time is increasing slowly, but it is increasing and I am focusing better as I pray.

Another area that I have felt I need to do better in is writing. I believe I am to be writing more and exploring some other areas of writing. I haven’t done much with this in the past couple of weeks. Well, I guess I have done a little as I am currently finishing the writing of a 35 day devotional series for my congregation. I am really struggling with the writing area and need to become disciplined in this matter. One of my struggles is that I just don’t schedule time to write, which makes it easier to revert to one of my “go to” excuses of being too busy.

Thanks for checking back in on me. I will attempt to give you some periodic updates of my progress in these areas.

How are you doing with your excuses? Any progress? I would love to hear from you, so I can pray with you and encourage you as well.

Dennis

1 Comment

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire …

Do you remember this old elementary school chant? As a kid I didn’t think through the implications of this chant. As an adult I am surmising that it is supposed to be a word picture of how uncomfortable it can be when you lie, and especially when you continue to lie. This came to my mind today as I was making excuses to myself as to why I was not getting in better physical condition. In other words I called myself out, “Liar, liar, pants on fire”. I didn’t like hearing it any better today than I did back in elementary school.

As I heard this childhood chant in my head today I was faced with this reality. I continue to be out of shape, in fact getting more out of shape, because the pain of getting in better physical condition seems greater than the pain of continuing in this out of shape condition. Notice I used the word “seems”. The reality is, the problems with being this out of shape, of which my weight is some of the problem but not all of the problem, are much greater and painful in the long run than the pains of getting in better physical shape.

So I keep lying to myself. I even tell myself that I am not really that out of shape. If I said that on the playground I would get the whole school to chant “Liar, liar, pants on fire”. That is a whopper of a lie. So why do I keep telling it to myself. A more critical question is, why do I keep embracing the lie?

My conclusion is that it is just more comfortable, albeit temporarily, to believe the lie than to do what is necessary to begin changing my condition. Can you relate?

I believe there are many things in our lives in which this scenario is true. How about spiritually? Why don’t we have a better prayer life? Or, why don’t we read our bible more? Or, why don’t we invite our neighbors to church? Or, why don’t we stand up for what we claim to believe at work or school? Or, why don’t we give more? Or, why don’t we serve others? How about in our families and relationships? Why do we allow there to be distance in a relationship with a family member or with a friend? Why …. I could go on for a while, but I imagine that you are already ahead of me at this point.

In what area of your life could we call “Liar, liar, pants on fire” on you?

Now the question is, what will I do about my revelation? Stay tuned, I may give you some updates in the near future. How about you? What will you do if you have heard “Liar, liar, pants on fire” for yourself while reading this post?

Here’s hoping that you join me and begin some changes. I think I would prefer to hear a different chant, this one is getting too painful.

Dennis

Leave a comment